will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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