The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
