She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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