Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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