Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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