yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
