Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
