i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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