So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
