I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
