We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My balls are so social today.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
