i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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