I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
