guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize