I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
