Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
sarcasm needs its own font
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
