He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
