Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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