i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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