the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize