How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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