my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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