i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
