I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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