fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
