Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
