you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
