Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
