Whats the glycemic index on semen?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
