covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
