you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
