There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
