Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
