My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
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So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
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I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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