i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
