Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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