better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
