i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
