I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
