He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
