Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
