If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
