Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It was like giving head to a cactus.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
