i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
only if we run a train.
done.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Randomize
