Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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