you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
