she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize