we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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