...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
