I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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