I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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