ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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