I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
