I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
