Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
The ass gains better be worth it
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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