i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
