No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
