Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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