I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
