She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
