I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
