That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
