..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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