do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
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