Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
