what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Mom said you looked used
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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