the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
