I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
