dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
