i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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