Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
